PHOBIA - TERRIBLE FEAR OF SOMETHING OR SITUATION.
The child goes to sleep. He's played a lot, he's happy. She knows it's late, on top of that she's tired, she agrees to go to bed. She brushes her teeth, puts on her pajamas. The mother, very affectionate, tells a story. It's all right in that childish world.
When the story is almost over, the child feels a heaviness in his chest. A weight that is increasing. The child doesn't want it to end. He asks for one more story, but it's late, it's really bedtime. The child feels the weight in the chest invading the whole body, he no longer controls it. You are afraid, very afraid. You know the worst is coming.
The mother will have to leave. And will turn off the light in the room. And the child will be there, alone in the dark, with everything he feels. And it's not little.
Along with fear comes tachycardia. The heart begins to beat faster and the child feels something even more terrifying. The fear of fear. Fear of chest heaviness, tachycardia. Fear of your own body that is now starting to shake. The child starts to cry. He tells his mother not to leave, he doesn't want to be alone in the dark.
The mother starts to get upset. The child has played so much, still wants more? It has no limits! Next time, she won't tell any stories and the child will come to bed earlier. Punishment for those who are ungrateful. The child continues to cry, does not want to be alone in the dark. The mother thinks it is absurd not to be able to turn off the light, but accepts to leave a small light on in the room, but the child does not stop crying.
Now that there will be light, she doesn't want to be alone. The mother screams, she is very angry! We had agreed that this would not happen again! The mother leaves the room and leaves the child alone to cry, in a desolate mismatch.
PORQUE É QUE AS PESSOAS TÊM FOBIAS?
There are several possibilities:
Because they remember having been in contact with - or having happened - something very traumatic in the past. So much so that just thinking about it happening again, they get physical symptoms, such as tremors, cold sweats and tachycardia.
Because they've heard stories so terrible that they think those stories might happen to themselves.
This is the strangest option. People have never suffered any type of trauma like this, nor have they ever heard that the situation has happened to anyone they are close to. And yet they die of fear that the situation will happen to them.
67%.
Segundo um estudo levado a cabo na Universidade de Harvard, essa é a percentagem de pessoas que tem medo que aconteçam coisas:
A - that never happened either to them or to acquaintances
B - that have very little chance of happening in their lives
So where does this fear come from?
Where does this idea come from that something that is so far away can happen?
But there's more:
And when a child is terrified of something, do you try to find out where he learned about it and find absolutely nothing? Can't you find any evidence that she knows or has even come into contact with the subject where does this fear come from?
It's just that an adult, even not having experienced this trauma, may have heard stories, read, watched movies that address the issue. There is always the possibility that you have come into contact with this information and - even so it is very strange - have developed the phobia.
But a child...
A HISTORY OF PHOBIA
A friend of mine has a son who, at nine months old, every time she opened a yogurt to give him, he cried, kicked, threw a huge tantrum. She couldn't bring the yogurt close to him. The closer she got, the more he cried.
Later, if he was the one who opened the yogurt, that was fine. But if it was her... ow!
And all my life it was like that. To this day, he's the one who helps himself, he doesn't like to be asked for a sip from the bottle he's drinking, he's still terrified of the exchange of germs.
It took many years for her to understand what had really happened. At first she thought she was just a rude child. She spent a lot of time trying to devalue. She tried her best to show him how ridiculous it was for her to think that something was going to happen just because he ate a yogurt opened by someone else.
Once, they were having dinner. She sneezed. Of course she put her hand forward, she is a polite person. What happened next is indescribable. He started crying saying he wasn't going to eat anymore because her sneeze had filled her plate with germs. She once again devalued him, said that she thought what he was doing was ridiculous, that he had spoiled their dinner. He locked himself in his room and said he no longer wanted to eat.
After a long time she and I started to understand that it was more than a tantrum.
As a child it was easy to justify all those eating manias as bad parenting. But as he grew older he couldn't take it lightly.
The boy really suffered. And he decidedly doesn't put anything into his mouth that could be touched by someone else. There came a time when I had to accept that something much more complex was happening.
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